It has been 5 years since the big changes were noticed and this summer 5 years diagnosed. Things have pretty much settled down to normal and I find that I am questioning myself if this is real or if I imagined it. Does my husband really have this terrible disease or am I over-reacting to the normal, albeit early, aging process of any one. For the most part everything is fine. And I have to admit, his memory is better than mine. Gerry continues to thrive as a normal unaffected man. Well as normal as it goes. Since my last post which was too long ago, not much has happened epically that is. Callen is now 3 yrs old and we don't keep him on a regular basis and we hate that. But we do see him a lot. What a great kid and Grandpa loves spending time with him.
Since January 2012 was the last post, I can't even think about all the things that have happened during that time. But I'll hit the highlights, if I can call them that. We've traveled a little, going to Vegas 2 times and on a cruise and to the beach as well as the mountains for some snow time. All of which were great trips for us and especially Gerry. On the cruise I was sick the whole time, so he really enjoyed that. He was able to wander around the ship and talk to people and not be "shushed" by me when he talks too much. Of course when we travel by car, I drive. Gerry has finally come to the conclusion that he cannot drive in traffic when it is complicated any at all, so that was something he came up with on his own. I also went off on a couple trips on my own. I drove all the way to the outer banks of NC to see my niece and her new husband repeat their vows on the beach. I went to WDW with our Grandson Nathan and spent a wonderful week with my family and really had a ball. I also drove to WV to visit with my son Donnie. Right now I will hesitate leaving him alone again because of his recent accident.
I'm getting ahead of myself, but it really doesn't matter when it happened, it's just the fact that things happen. But before I get into that I'll say this. Over this period of time Gerry has really been thriving. That is why I wonder if I'm making too much of this. He seems to be very healthy and for him happy. I've mentioned the problems with his Mom. Well, things got better for them for a while and it almost got to the point 2 different times that they would get to see one another face to face. But both times his sister intervened and it didn't happen. I won't go into the details, frankly because I don't think you'd believe me if I told the stories as they happened. I wouldn't. But, as it stands now they do not talk. It got so stressful for him that he just ended it. He just said he had to let her go for his own sanity. He has not talked to her since last August. She has called a couple times and he sees her number and won't answer, his choice not mine. He stepped in and rescued himself this time. So when things like that happen, what can I say? His mind is sharp? It is, at least I understand why he's doing it. Maybe no one else does, but I do.
These things that he does makes me say, "he's fine". If he gets upset with me because I question him, or he thinks I don't trust him, I think that he is justified in being upset. So, I just let it go that I am over reacting. This happens a lot. If in the middle of Callen eating his meal, Grandpa interjects a piece of candy or cookie, I make the mistake of telling him not to do that. He gets mad at me. If I tell him to quit playing games with him while he is eating, he gets mad at me. But, I also know that if Callen doesn't eat his meal, Grandpa gets upset because he doesn't finish eating. I never know if I am right or if I am wrong. I know these are little things but my mind goes to that place where the judgment he uses is not harmless. What if he lets him do something he shouldn't that could be harmful to him, do I wait until it happens or do I keep a close eye on him? I see these little things and I can't help myself. But I say, what's the harm? But, when will it happen that it is the harm? Maybe never, but can I take the chance. My heart knows that Grandpa will never let anything happen to our little Grandson. But my brain tells me, what if his judgment is skewed at that time? It's just something that I have to be aware of.
2012 Gerry had a heel spur that was really making it difficult for him to walk. So he had surgery on it. It took him over 6 months to recover and he still has a little difficulty with it. I have to tell you those were not fun months. But I can't blame any of it on AD because any man faced with this would have been disagreeable for that time. So how can I even think any of that time would have told me anything other than "recovery was going on". With 2013 coming to an end I thought that we had made it through the year with no mishaps at all. The year has been good because Gerry has new doctors now and he really likes them. The one he really likes is his "Pharmacologist/Dietitian" Dr G. She is just a ray of sunshine to him, he will do anything she tells him to do. He started writing a diary of his meals and of his blood sugars in a spiral notebook. He had really gotten everything to the point that he was really making great strides in controlling his Diabetes for the first time ever. I was so proud of what he had done. This weighs heavy on me because I am the one who feeds him and I am responsible for the food he has in front of him.
But then it happened!!! Dec 30 2013, he was putting up a few little shelves in the utility pantry for me to sit things on. Except in my defense, it was his idea not mine. He was nearly finished and had to cut just a small 12" brace to make it perfect by taking off 2" of the wood. I heard this horrible scream from the garage. After about the 4th scream I went to see what was wrong expecting that he cut it wrong or bumped his elbow on something (another story entirely) only to find that he had cut his thumb with the table saw. An accident that could happen to anyone, no matter how experienced. The only thing I saw that he had done wrong was this: he took the guard off the blade. Well, I had to rush him to the emergency room and that followed with a surgery 2 days later to repair/save his damaged thumb. He is now 1 month into it and after his 3rd cast change, he's doing pretty well. He has learned to do everything except tie his shoes and button his pants without the use of one thumb. He had a great surgeon and we are in great hopes that he will have use of his complete thumb. If not at least he'll be able to use it without bending it. The doctor told him "No more power tools"!! I've told him this but he will listen to the doctor. So, my theme song is "There's blood -Power Saw for Sale". Sung like Jimmy Buffett's new song "Earl's Dead - Cadillac for Sale". We still have so much humor.
What has this got to do with Alzheimer's Disease and it's progress? Well this: His last check-up and blood work shows his A1c is back up too high. This stresses him out, for all he can say is "why?" The doctor explained to him that when you have a trauma (surgery) on your body like he had with his thumb, it's very normal for your blood sugar to be high. Therefore, we'll wait until his body has healed and start over again with his normal routine. He has a hard time understanding this. Another thing that has come out of this is his own realization that he starts talking and can't quit. He tries to tell a simple story and it turns into a long, long saga. If he asks a question, he will ask it then answer it and then ask it and answer it over and over, usually until I stop him. When he talks on the phone he uses the speaker phone so I can hear everything that is said. Yesterday he was talking to his doctor about his A1c and was becoming upset about it, but he wouldn't stop talking. I hear the doctor yell at him (to get his attention) and say "Please stop so that I can talk to you". So, every now and then she would yell at him so that she could continue. I have to say that when I say "yell" I mean she raises her voice to talk over him. I was so happy to hear her do this. I do it all the time and he thinks I'm mean and rude to him. But sometimes that's the only way you can get a word in. He asked me when he got off the phone and a few times later on, "have I always been this way?" And I told him "no, not always". He now realizes what he is doing and is determined to quit. He said I won't talk any more. I tell him, but you can't do that you have to talk. He says, "but you don't understand, when I get started - I can't seem to stop". Of course I know that this will only last for a little while and before I know it he'll be chattering away again as usual. My problem? It's not getting tired of hearing his voice and scream at him to be quiet!! I want to hear his voice forever. I never want it to quit. But I am human and things do bug me. But I am proud to say, I am much better than I was 4 years ago.
Where are we right now? Well, next week when we go for his check-up we will talk to the doctor about adding another medication or upping what he is taking now. The great thing about this doctor is that since he's been going to him, he has taken him off all medications for diabetes (metformin and insulin only now) and has changed his blood pressure meds and taken him off statins to solve a high potassium problem. The statins are the culprits so his cholesterol his back up. He still gets uncomfortable in a crowd; he feels left out of conversations because he can't keep up; he gets depressed often; and his anger flares up about 1 time a month; and don't get him started on politics!!!
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